Misadventures of the Malefic Halitosia

Session 1
Hunt for the Righteous Path

(As told by an unnamed crew member over many rounds of amasec, rotgut, and tranq)

We were enroute to Port Wander, which is the last major empire port before the Maw, and the fore the Koronus Expanse.
Capn Bob is of the rogue trader house Fay. We were greeted with … Some message … Directing us to the a Court of the Dead, the main marketplace.
Someone has been waiting for someone from the house of Fay to arrive.

We all went to the court of the dead.
And there was an old man… His name? Ordis Bray?
OB, as I will refer to him until corrected, proceeds to tell captain about this story about some captain from the Fay dynasty from ages ago.
There’s some rich xenos planet, with tech and wealth, and Old Fay went to crush this in the name of the emperor, and looted the place, stripping bits out of his ship “The Righteous Path” just to fit more loot.
And then he just disappeared with the ship and the loot.
OB indicates that he knows where the RP (righteous path) is. He gave captain this stone
That has psychic warp-ish vibes( made both Whitedove and Aurelius feel a bit tingly).

As captain was about to get properly tactile with the stone (What is it called? Nemolith or something rather? A memory stone).
Oh yeah the case was genetically locked to the Fay gene, which was neat.
So, then, some metal bird swooped and grabbed the stone. I’m not making this up!
And then all hell broke loose.
(Not hell… Divine fury! )

The Right Hon Kraal Theas, who had readied his flamer – I mean instrument of divine fury – with wanton disregard of bystanders and allies, opened fire at the metal bird.
Catching the bird, Captain, Leto, and Letos servo skull Mikhail, and about 4 random citizens
“Roll to hit” the GM said.
(Not my fault you idiots got in the way!)
“Don’t need to roll. I hit. "
The upside is that Captain went all matrix and dodged the gout of promethium hotness and Leto rolled out of the way, while both the bird and poor Mikhail took the full force of flamer fire
Sorry, need a moment to compose myself … Poor Mikhail.

Then Whitedove ran to the bird and smacked it with his force staff, somewhere in the birds gonads apparently. The bird dropped the nemothingy tingly stone, which the captain immediately stuffed into his codpiece, or somewhere more sensible in his armor. Reports differ on this detail.

Around this time approx 5 armored and armed thugs surrounded the party and opened fire.
Kraal mixed things up a bit and used his flamer. A few times. At some point half the market was running around on fire.
Approx 3 legs were blown apart by hellpistol, hand cannon, and bolter fire.
Whitedove went mano o mano with a thug.
Both psykers, Aurelius and Whitedove, refused to use their powers, maybe thinking “The mundies got this, I’ll just sit back and chill.”
At some point, the captain hand cannoned a poor thug into a bystander.
A puppy died and so did about a million civilians.

And after we took care of it all, the Adeptus Arbites finally turned up. And they were all polite and deferring and stuff. Because we’re rogue traders and above most laws.
Leto was all shot up, and Whitedove as well. we went back to the ship for rest and loot counting. Kraal patched up the injured. Leto had to take a bed rest.
There was some politicking and stuff, some police commissioner came around and had a bit of chat with the captain.

One of the thugs survived. Sans one leg. He gave up the name of his employer: Hadarak Fel, whose dynasty actually helped Old Fay in raiding and looting that Old Rich Xenos World.
Predictably, HF (Hadaral Fel, Haddie to his mates) wanted the loot for himself, and have been waiting for a Fay to show up and gene unlock the damn memo stone.

We later found out Haddie’s ship is docked in Port Wander. We made plans to ram into him with our ship, but the next day we found that he had left the port, presumably in pursuit of the loot ship.

I should mention that at this point that our navigator got properly intimate with the nemothingy stone and received visions of some star map.
Also the metal bird who had a go at the stone, was found to be psychically linked to some mysterious figure that we haven’t seen yet.
The working theory is that when the bird grabbed the stone, this mysterious figure might have also psychically touched the stone and saw the same vision Aurelius saw.
So Haddie might be acting on that info and left for the loot ship.

Finally, we went to some map maker guy, who agreed to point us in the right direction if we could help him discreetly dispose of some “questionable” books – Aurelius agreed with the captain’s approval.


Leto 1
Efficient use of time

Kraal completed the injection and muttered something to the attending medic. He left without another word.
Leto sent the medic away and scoured his todo list for a task he can do from the medbay. He tapped into vox and dialled Hex.
“Has the loot arrived?”
“You’re hexing. And no binary, either. I’m not a servitor.”
“My apologies. They are being sorted right now.”
“Two on the guns and one on a bead.”
“Any pending reqs on them?”
“Req the three. Run safeties and route them to me. I also need you to assist.”
A brief pause. “Req approved. I will be there with your portables in 27.”

Leto shifted uncomfortably. He interfaced with the medbay cogitators. The machine spirit was restless. He wired in a short rite to calm them. 21 minutes. Time enough. He ran some diagnostics before checking the progress of the implantators. A few weeks from full operation, it seemed. Servitor tests next week. Not mechadendrites, though, not yet, not for a while.

-1 minutes. Hex was late.

Hot pain surged through Leto’s body. More stimm needed. By Omnissiah, the flesh is weak. That implantator couldn’t come online soon enough.

“I apologise for my lateness,” Hex interrupted Leto’s thoughts. The enginseer started setting up the portable workshop. Leto inspected the first gun. Laser sight, not forge world, poor craftsmanship. Leto disassembled the sight with no trouble. The work felt good, felt smooth. He looked up and noticed a smile on Hex’s face.
“You have surpassed me,” he said.
Leto smiled. “A testament to your tutelage.”
“And the Omnissiah’s blessing.”
“Of course,” Leto said. The second gun had a motion predictor. Unfortunately it was melted to uselessness. Hellpistol fire, most likely. Leto disassembled it anyway, and salvaged a partial casing. Good for practice.
“How’s the upgrades?”
“For your workshop? It was completed yesterday. While you were away.”
“Have it prepped for gear mods. I predict hostile events ahead. Well, more hostile than usual.” Leto inspected the bead. “I can’t figure this one out.”
“It’s modded,” Hex said. “But not sure how. I’ll have it analysed.”
“No, I’ll do it myself. Send it to the workshop. And fetch me that slate. I might need to acquisition some parts.”
“I will advise the seneschal,” Hex said. “Anything else?”
Leto shook his head. Hex picked up the bead, bowed slightly, and left.

Bob 1

The captain was moving, the pistol appearing before he was even fully awake. The alarm trilled the second time as his free hand reached down to turn it off. His eyes continued to scan his private bedroom to ensure it was just the alarm that had awoken him.

The room with its collection of books, artifacts and two chandeliers was a large space. Various alcoves were dedicated to various study topics that were of interest to the Captain at that time.

He padded over to his meditation space. Kneeling down he, he composed his mind, working on clearing it entirely. It had been a busy day yesterday, a lot of questions and worries tumbling about, interspaced with last night’s session with that new personnel aid that was probably still asleep outside in the main cabin bedroom. Thoughs of the expanse and challanges ahead fliwed into the darkness of space. Finally just darkness or was it not even that. Ahh, peace for a moment.

Meditation a success, Bob looked at the old clock, exactly 30 minutes since he started. Just enough time to get 30 minutes of tumbling, exercises and swinging from one chandelier to another. Thank the Emperor he saw that crazy nut of a zelot swing that stupid fire spitter towards him before the trigger was pulled, that could have seriously messed up his hair! Lucky he was decent medic, a better target for the crew to dislike and hell, as long as he did point the bloody thing at him, fun to watch the zelot flame away.

Exercise over, a quick check of the reports. The Cheng (cheif engineer) was up and operational – good. Bob wondered what crazy stuff would vome out of the new workshop. Other key crew were good. Secret projects progressing well, must divert that nosy spy master from that hidden room this week.

Showered and changed, the Captain slipped into his persona with the addition of the cod piece. Truely they believed the image of the woman chasing clown. Ah the price of protection – still it was a fun persona to have with some great fringe benefits! Game face on, he left his prive rooms and began another day.

Kraal 1

Krall slept soundly, secure in the certain knowledge that he had helped many souls find the salvation of the Emperor that day.

Dreams of comforting, cleansing flame purified his mind and thoughts.

However, somewhere in the deep dark recesses of his mind, Kraal could sense a heathen, unclean presence on board the ship…

Aurelius 1
The secrets within

The room is ill-lit by tiny points of light emitted by miscellaneous tech and several small lights in wall sconces of a design lost to ancient antiquity.
The dim light plays across furnishings and objects of finery and incredible wealth.
Yet the figure sat in the shadows shows no signs of trouble negotiating the darkness, he has “the dark sight” as its commonly known. A mutation affected on him by his dealings with the warp, a most helpful deviation from the norm of humanity allowing him to see in total darkness as if it was broad daylight.
Yet he stares beyond the room. In deep thought.
Aurelius rises from the extravagant chair.
He strides to the back of his chamber, activates a hidden panel opening up a passageway to another chamber.
This chamber is the polar opposite of the other, completely devoid of wealthy trappings. It is spartan containing a simple single plasteel bed, desk and chair.
On the desk rests the book laden satchel which the map maker begged they dispose of.
The clasp is undone and the bag lays half open.
He sits down.
Ignorance breeds fear and many unknowns are labelled heresy.
Aurelius will not be ignorant and he shall not fear for he knows knowledge is power.

He opens a book…

Leto 2
The flesh is weak

The pain pulsed white hot, like miswired circuitry. Why did the body insist to let him know that it was broken? Repairs were already underway, nothing more could be done. Where was the off switch for this redundant alarm mechanism?

There is no truth in flesh, only betrayal.

Leto pushed his right eye deeper into its socket. For some reason, this helped with the pain somewhat. Might as well run some diags on the hellfeeds on the eye. Last week it jammed during a check run and it took a full day and a well placed cryo injection for the heat in his head to subside.

Pain, again, abrupt, unnecessary. Leto reached for stimm, but remembered Kraal’s warning. “Too much and it will slow recovery.” Leto stopped, and surrendered. His entire body seemed to shut down, weak, unresponsive. Darkness came slowly, and blessedly.

There is no strength in flesh, only weakness.

Leto blinked. Still alive, for now. No pain, for now. He checked the implantators again, but of course nothing has changed in the few hours since he last checked it. Leto adjusted his bed and picked up a dataslate. The question was, which one first? The arm would help with hard-ops, and he could tune the fingers to be more responsive and precise for soft-ops. The legs would help with combat mobility, and combat seemed more of a concern recently. Leto suddenly felt unexplainably pleased. Either would be fine choices. Either would be stronger, more reliable, and more extensible than the pitiful bio-matter that the Omnissiah had seen to fit to test him with.

There is no constancy in flesh, only decay.

Perhaps availability would make the choice for him. He checked his logs. No results from his search yet. Get back to that later. Prepare for the next step in the procedure, which would be implantation. He would need a qualified medic. Kraal was the best on the ship, but Leto had not yet broached the subject with the fiery missionary. Would he object, on the basis of some imperial dogma?

He should prepare his arguments. To begin, the Emperor himself was being kept alive by what amounted to an external implant, the Golden Throne. And, since the Omnissiah was an equal aspect of the Emperor, would it not follow that any attempt to become closer to the Machine God was also an attempt to become closer to the Emperor? Leto wrote these down in his personal log, and flowcharted the various paths that the impending conversation might take.

There is no certainty in flesh but death.

Aurelius 2
Red, the first of his name

Gareths small servo motors whirred softly as he hovered along, his flexible manipulator arms at the controls of the hovercart.
He maneuvered the cart into the incinerator, disengaged from the controls and navigated his way back to the incinerator control room where he promptly deactivated the fail safe mechanism and the incinerator roared into firey life.

Upon the hover cart within the crate Red had already given up screaming and hadn’t even bothered trying to force his way out of the crate, he knew their strong and sturdy design as much as he knew his was feeble. He uttered a prayer.

Within moments the crate was reduced to ashes which were immediately ejected into space.
No trace.

Aurelius welcomed Gareth back into his chamber – a most pleasing servant in life Gareth continued to prove himself loyal even in death. He reactived the security measures he had disabled.
Leaned back in his chair and accepted the martini that Gareth offered.

Aurelius 3
Red, the second of his name

Aurelius sighed as he walked away from the garbage jettison port, his thoughts returning to more important matters.

Somewhere in the midst of all the junk floating in space was another crate, inside was the unrecognizable mangled form of Red the 2nd.

Aurelius had intended on a single shot to the back of the head but instead his hellpistol had malfunctioned to auto – or had he absent-mindedly set it to the burst mode? “no matter now” he muttered to Gareth.
Apart from a much larger mess to clean up it had all gone to plan.

His mind drifted back to the warp.

Leto 3
Upgrade path

The beep woke Leto up. He checked the readouts: two minor nerve anomalies and zero incompatibilities. So, type 2 to 7 would be ideal, type 1 is acceptable and forget the rest. He updated his req parameters accordingly.

He checked Hark’s as well, still the same, the only difference being that a type 8 would be acceptable for his forge world mate.

More pain. More stimm. Leto considered removing the nerves, but procedure advised against nerve removal prior to implantation as the body, that weak, inconstant flesh, cannot adapt.

Fine. He would endure. Soon enough pain would just be a system alert that he could mute. First his legs, which would bring additional mobility as a bonus, then his arms, perhaps, or maybe the heart.

He checked the implantator again. Soon.

Leto 4

Leto listened patiently. Mikhail was always chatty right after his weekly meeting with Gareth and the other servo skulls. What exactly do servo skulls talk about when they get together? Sick hover grav tricks? Whose master was the most annoying? The latest in embedded skull accessories?

“1,” Leto agreed absently, his attention on the config console.

^ Default(3) if (no command) loop(search_priority[hostiles, unknowns, envhazard, loot];; auspex:standard, awareness:enabled
if(Risk>203) analyze_paths > tactical_retreat(maneuverArray[Leto37, Leto22]);; auspex:combat, awareness:enabled

“0. 0100011?” Leto mumbled. Now for the most important addition to the config.

_on_event (KraalThreas.flamer.changeOrientation) then calculateAOE(KraalTheas.flamer) > FLYTOTHEOPPOSITEDIRECTIONRIGHTAWAY;;auspex:KraalTheas, awareness:flamer

mikConf> Commit?



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